Wednesday 18 January 2012

Alone.

All my life I have been highly independent. I started working before I was 14, I have never needed someone to remind me to do something or push me to get tasks done, I didn't delay one day in getting my license and I never ask for help.

I never really had a big pose of girlfriends to define me as a person, I skydived alone and now I'm going to Europe for a little over a month, all alone.

I could of asked someone to come with me, but I didn't. I just booked my tickets and told my parents and that was that.

I'm really excited, although as the weeks go by I get more and more nervous and at times completely freaked our at the point of panic, can I really do this? Abandon everything comforting and familiar to fly to the other side of the world and survive on my own?

I'm okay about leaving my family, I just don't want to be without my boyfriend for that long, call me a baby or whatever you like, but when u see someone every single day the thought of not being able to see them for a month is a little frightening.

I'll be okay with missing him, it's just that what happens if we argue or something happens that I can't be here for him? It's not easy solving problems when you are so far away!
The worst part is that he worries and gets insecure sometimes, as we all do, and I completely understand, I'd be the same if the situation was reversed. I can reassure him while I'm here and show him that his worries are silly but how do I do that while I'm over there?

There is a thought that always runs through my mind, telling me not to worry, that I shouldn't let silly trivial things ruin this for me, but how can I ignore something that is bothering him so much?

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