A new outlook.

In the past my life was full of drama.
Drama with friends was all about those who did not make enough effort, new friends coming into my life and not getting along with others, and friends leaving.
Drama with my boyfriend that consisted of jealous and arguments that were caused by insecurities.
And ofcourse drama that had to do with lack of confidence and paranoia that everyone had something negative to say about me behind my back that would lead me to argue with people.

But lately i thought 'fuck it'. I used to say this a lot in the past but things still bothered me but today when the new guy at work did something to really piss me off i decided not to even bother confronting him. I am going to treat him with as much respect as he gave me, which is none. Call it petty if you wish, i am not going to give people the time of day anymore, i mean what the point in it? He doesn't mean anything to me so why should waste my energy on him?

The same philosophy will go with everything else in my life, from now on instead of taking the path that will ease my paranoia (confronting people) i am going to ignore it, take the easy path, and let the worry fade away. I am going to teach myself a lesson, not to be bothered by things that wont matter in a couple of days time.

I suggest you all do the same, life is much simple this way.

Dreams.

It's 12.30am and I can't sleep.
Today a co-worker asked me "what is your dream?" and I said "I don't have a dream" she then told me that I had to have a dream and that I would never forget that conversation.

In truth, I had dreams, but I let go of the idea of them a long time ago, because lets face it, those sorts of dreams never come true. Not for people like me.

Now my dreams are for things that I wish I could see in this lifetime but I know I never will.

I dream of seeing the day that cancer is cured. The day when time travel is possible, of the day I can go back 15 years and stop a bad accident from happening and being able to change the fact that my parents homeland was destroyed, something that still haunts them to this day.

I dream of being able to take away the pains of war, of living in a world where children don't go hungry.

I don't dream of things that others dream of, most people would of answered "I dream of being rich" but those people have never known pain and for those who have, I wish I could say "I dream of a world where pain doesn't exist," but if we didn't know pain how could we ever be grateful for its absence?

Isn't it how the song goes "we bleed just to know we're alive"?

Time is nothing.

Click on the link below and prepare to be amazed at the wonderful world we all live in.

Time is Nothing.

Counting down the days.

Funny videos.

Just a couple funny videos that have been going around on my Facebook newsfeed that i thought i'd share. Enjoy! 

Alone.

All my life I have been highly independent. I started working before I was 14, I have never needed someone to remind me to do something or push me to get tasks done, I didn't delay one day in getting my license and I never ask for help.

I never really had a big pose of girlfriends to define me as a person, I skydived alone and now I'm going to Europe for a little over a month, all alone.

I could of asked someone to come with me, but I didn't. I just booked my tickets and told my parents and that was that.

I'm really excited, although as the weeks go by I get more and more nervous and at times completely freaked our at the point of panic, can I really do this? Abandon everything comforting and familiar to fly to the other side of the world and survive on my own?

I'm okay about leaving my family, I just don't want to be without my boyfriend for that long, call me a baby or whatever you like, but when u see someone every single day the thought of not being able to see them for a month is a little frightening.

I'll be okay with missing him, it's just that what happens if we argue or something happens that I can't be here for him? It's not easy solving problems when you are so far away!
The worst part is that he worries and gets insecure sometimes, as we all do, and I completely understand, I'd be the same if the situation was reversed. I can reassure him while I'm here and show him that his worries are silly but how do I do that while I'm over there?

There is a thought that always runs through my mind, telling me not to worry, that I shouldn't let silly trivial things ruin this for me, but how can I ignore something that is bothering him so much?

Family.

I spent the day with my extended family in Putney Park celebrating my cousin Lidija's 30th birthday. It was a toasty warm day in Sydney and we all tried to escape the heat to shade and by cooling ourselves down by the water where a cool breeze circulated.

While the women ate and gossiped, the men drank, fished and kicked a ball around, I noticed one thing, that no matter what sort of family you have, there is no bond stronger than family. It is not only the love that keeps you together but it also the beliefs, lifestyles and experiences that makes the bonds stronger.

My family is unified by religious beliefs, past sufferings, and upbringings, making us all understanding and accepting of each other and the decisions we each make throughout our lives.

So while they may drive you crazy sometimes or make you think "how on earth am I related to these people?" don't forget that they are the ones who will understand when others don't, who won't judge you and who will be there to support you when others walk the other way.

Open the eyes of my heart.

I just saw this video, as was posted by Karen in her blog Finding Rest. This boy is such an inspiration. He is blind and autistic, as the result of a heartbreaking story. Please take the time to listen to him sing, this just shows that God is merciful, he has given this boy a voice, and a beautiful one at that.

Storms and scary stories.

I know we have all been feeling it today with the humidity and we can all hear it right now, following the blistering heat that we have been experiencing the past few days, a storm is rolling in. I do not know if it is just because we haven't had a storm in a while but this one sounds like its going to be a big one.

I came home a few minutes ago to find the house empty and dark, and with the sounds of thunder and the piercing light of the lightning flashing through the blinds my girly instincts told me to run to my room, shut the door and to not come out until the storm passes.

Maybe I am just being a sissy or maybe there is some sort of psychological damage done to me through my experiences of storms as a child, but either way i cannot help the irrational feeling that maybe it isn't just me in this big empty house.

The dogs are barking and the street is deserted. I won't enter into a room without turning the light on first, just to erase the fear of someone being there waiting for me. Washing my face was a challenge as i refused to put my face down or close my eyes, thinking that if i did this the moment i put my head up and opened my eyes someone would be there, in the mirror, looking at me.

Now, even as i write this i can tell how stupid it is, but it isn't my fault, i blame the stereotypical horror movies (which also is the reason why i will never go camping), and of course all those stormy nights i spent under a sheet with a torch lit telling scary stories with my friends (even though i don't even remember the basics of any of those stories). Still though, the thought of being home alone in a big house while a storm rages outside scares me to death!

True story.

Australia.

I went to the Sydney Aquarium and Wildlife World today, the city was buzzing with school kids and families on school holidays.  These are just some shots that were taken today.

Baby Jurleta

My sister is 6 months pregnant! Today is exactly three months to go. She would kill me if she knew i put this up but its just so cute, the baby is getting big in there! 

Countdown to Contiki/Croatia