Today was one of the hardest days I've had in months. I don't want to divulge all the personal details of my life so I'll just say that certain aspects of my life feel like they are either slipping away or falling apart.
It is easy to blame others for everything that is going wrong, as I usually do but today I forced myself to be honest with myself, I control my life, I am to blame for anything that upsets me. Why? Because it either happened due to my own actions or because I'm so weak that I let it affect me so.
So I thought, how can I change this? The only way is to control my own happiness, don't let it be so controlled by others. Also, there are certain things about my personality that I need to change. Cause when it comes down to it, all the major upsets in my life were because I am an insecure, neurotic, control freak!
I'm sure some of you are nodding your heads in agreement, to those who don't know me quite so well...yes, it's true!
Most people would think, why on earth would you tell people your greatest weaknesses!? Well the first step to overcoming a weakness is to recognize it and then to admit to it. Plus I thought it would be interesting to see who would test me or use it against me.
I had a big reality check today and it's time I took my happiness in my own hands and overcame the one personality trait that was always causing me to be unhappy. It may be hard at first but the way I see it is that I have no choice. I need to gain strength from what happened today. I need to look forward to whatever tomorrow brings with strength.